Help From a Friend

I have been so busy having fun, I've had little time to post. However, I just heard this story from a friend and decided to share.

I went visiting teaching today-- so I'm feeling Holy. When we were done I picked up my daughter, but I still had to take my visiting teaching partner home. We were on our way and my daughter was in the back seat trying to open something. All of the sudden I hear "S**T" -- apparently she couldn't get it open. I just looked at my visiting teaching partner and smiled. Nothing like your kids reminding the world of your imperfections.

It's a funny story, but I'm having a hard time relating.

The EnglishTeacher

When I spent my senior year of high school with my parents in Belgium, they enrolled me in a catholic girls school where (as it was Belgium after all) they spoke Flemish.

The only class I understood was my English class. The English teacher didn't really take a shine to me. As soon as I came the students wanted to know if my life was like that of a character on Beverly Hills 90210. It was not. I had come from a school in the US where I was known as the math geek. Again, I was not. But as far as rumors go, I'll take math geek.

Regardless, my arrival set off an all things American fire in the other students bellies that my British loving English teacher was eager to squelch. The students asked my teacher why they had to learn the British spelling and pronunciation in class, why not American? After a long debate it was put to a vote, he agreed to teach which ever English variation the most students wanted. He had just finished a long lecture about how it would be better for them if they didn't sound like Americans, and was confident the vote would turn out the way he wanted. It did not. I, personally, voted for Scottish, because everything sounds better with a Scottish accent. Don't believe me? Try it. Read the rest of the post with a Scottish accent. Come on . . . do it, everyone else is.

The voting results showed an overwhelming majority for American accent, but the teacher decided that 17 year olds couldn't be trusted to decide what was good for them (which really is true, isn't it?) and kept on teaching all things British.

Had I any idea that my husband would speak Scottish (it just so happened he was in Scotland while I was in Belgium) I would have fought harder that day. I aways wanted to raise bilingual children.

On second thought it might have been just too much for little Chase. Being a Korean American with a Swedish last name and set of European ancestors puts him in a unique group. Add a Scottish accent? Talk about an identity crisis.

Those Who Can . . .

Those who can, teach. Those who can't make a fool out of themselves.

I like teaching specific things in very controlled environments. My favorite class to teach was the intro to programming class. Give me a couple of interested students, a white board, a few good markers, some caffeine, and you'd be looking at a party.

Right now, instead of teaching intro to programming I've been teaching the Relief Society lesson during church. I don't teach that often (thank goodness), only once every other month. So basically, I get one month to recover from my last lesson and one month two stew over the upcoming lesson.

Once I am prepared for a lesson I have a printout of various topics, quotes, and questions I want to discuss. Normally I stick pretty close to my notes and things turn out well enough.

Yesterday this was not exactly the case. At one point I told all the women I didn't like people I didn't know. Yes, we are still relatively new, and no, I don't know many of them. Um . . . ya.

The best part was the fact that my right hand gets really shaky in the cold, and yesterday it was very cold. I think they all thought I was scared to death. Maybe they will disregard some of my crazier statements (junior high and puppet shows were mentioned) due to my apparent fear of public speaking.

The Case of the Missing Brownie

Madison made brownies in her math class on Thursday. The teacher took them home to bake and today they will get to taste the fruits of their labor. Madison told Kai she would get an extra one and save it for him.

"Mom, I have a problem. I kind of, sort of, promised Kai I would get him a brownie from math class."

"That was nice."

"Well, the problem is that they have cameras ALL OVER the school. Because like the other day there were these boys who were stuffing toilet paper in the . . . well not the toilets, but you know those other things . . . . "

"The urinals?"

"Ya, so these boys where stuffing toilet paper in them and they caught them because someone was watching the tapes. So what if I take an extra brownie and they see it on the tape and come after me?"

So she can be scared into doing the right thing. Perhaps it isn't ideal, but hey, she's being good.

Cheese Enchiladas and Mexican Rice

In an attempt to get my life together I have decided to set weekly goals. My goal this week was to cook dinner. Not every night, just once. I was banned from the kitchen a while ago after burning myself while using the microwave.

Yesterday I made enchiladas and rice. The recipe is from the Colorado Cache Cookbook. the enchiladas where pretty blah (I'm sure it had nothing to do with my cooking skills). The rice was quite tasty.

Things I learned

1. I need a tour of the kitchen and pantries.
2. I need a real apron.
3. Gather the ingredients BEFORE you begin to cook.
4. Dry your hands before picking up the knife. Dropping knives is bad.
5. I'm not good at remembering the time. Use a timer.
6. Don't assume you remember the next step correctly

Call of Duty

No one in the army will take him seriously with those dimples.

Rainy Day at the Movies

A while ago I helped my husband's family clean out the house his grandparents had lived in. It was like a 3 room time capsule. A very dirty, cluttered, possibly infected with the hanta virus type of time capsule.

While there, we found a very heavy strong box that had been padlocked shut. No one had the key so they had to open it with a crowbar. The excitement was such that everyone stopped working to watch the unveiling of something that must be spectacular. I for one was not disappointed to see the padlocked strong box was full of padlocks, still in their packages, as shiny as the day they were taken off the shelf. I thought it was so great, I plan on doing the same thing when I am old. Except I'm going to put mine in the top back corner of the closet. Don't tell the kids, I don't want to ruin the surprise.

I got a tin full of buttons and keys and a shoe box full of quilt squares. I also brought home a pile of vintage clothes that I was going to try to sell (yes they are still in a large box in my room). In an attempt to uncluttered my bedroom, I recently started sorting the clothes and taking pictures of the items I was going to try to sell. I took out a very cute rain coat and felt something in the pocket. No I didn't find a padlock, but how cool would that have been? I found this.


That is a move ticket to the Cottonwood Mall Theater. It doesn't say what movie-- perhaps there was only one? It cost 2.50 and they went on the 27th of May 1977. Apparently they had some cracker jacks, and a dollar to spare. After I took the picture I put all those things back in the pocket, and put the coat in the back of my closet. My kids are going to be SO confused some day.

Aren't You Proud

Hey Kai, you forgot to tuck your shirt in.

Dang it . . . hey, aren't you proud mom? Aren't you proud because I didn't say Damn it?

Inchworm

Davis has graduated to inchworm-hood.

Now he just needs to work on those knees . . . .

Stitch Removal

The stitches have been removed.

The first thing the doctor said was, "Wow! Who did those stitches?" Madison cut her knee at night and so we had to go to the after hours doctor. When I told him who had done them he said he should have known. "I really have to get him to show me how he does his stitches sometime. They're amazing!"

I had no idea that different doctors did stitches different ways. I suppose you can wax creative in almost any profession.

Kids Eat the Darndest Things

My two year old just ate a good portion of a fridge magnet.

I find it amazing, not that he took the first bite, but that he took the second, and from the looks of it, possibly a third.

Therapy

As you know the boy was diagnosed with ADHD awhile ago.

The doctor suggested he start seeing a therapist, he said that most kids with ADHD do. If most kids do, I suppose we must too. I signed him up with a program at BYU, where he talks to a student who is studying to be a therapist. All of the sessions are taped and reviewed with their professors, blah blah blah. We are going there because it is $15 a session, as opposed to $115 a session.

Last night was his first session. I'll admit it, I had fun. I know that sounds weird, but really, it was fun. Sometimes I forget how funny that boy is. It was really nice to sit back and watch as he completely amazed and befuddled someone, who was not me for a change. I couldn't help thinking, "thats my boy!"

At one point she was trying to talk to him about some of the boys in school who are mean to him. She asked him what they do that's mean. He very expressively said, "Well. They are ALWAYS doing KRUNKY stuff." (He likes to make up words) When she asked him to be more specific he just made up more words. She moved on.

He started to tell her about a story he had heard in class. It was something about a boy who wasn't good at basketball, but he put salt in his shoes . . . I don't know, it didn't make a whole lot of sense. He had been talking about this story for a really long time when the therapist tried to change the conversation with, "So, tell me about your sister." He gave her the "I'm talking right now look" and kept talking about the boy with salt in his shoes. She tried again, he stopped talking, looked her right in the eyes and said, "Okay, here's the deal. I'm not really done telling you about this story. I would like to finish. Then I'll tell you about my sister."

When he was done with each topic he would declare, "and NOW I am done talking about THAT" as a signal that it was okay to move on.

By the end of the hour he had agreed he would try to be nice to Madison by getting her school snack for her in the morning (even though HE has to get ready for school TOO you know!). However, he would not agree to hand the snack to her. He would open the door and throw it at her, because she doesn't seem to be feeling well, and he DOESN'T want to get sick.

I think we made a lot of progress. $15 well spent.

Mormon Art

I am still trying to rescue my house from the Christmas aftermath. I am almost done and have several large mostly full storage tubs to show for my efforts. My Christmas decorations are being replaced with my normal everyday decorations, and frankly, it is nice to see them again.














First we have the print of Jesus with a crown of thorns. Then the small resin St. Francis, and lastly, the iron cross.

I know, I'm a Mormon so I am supposed to have nice pictures of Jesus blessing children (preferably painted by Greg Olsen) in my house. I'm not against the happy, child blessing Jesus, he just doesn't go with my decor. The art I have in my home is a matter of personal artistic preference. To prove my point I give you the following exhibits:

Exhibit A: The Madonna with Green Eyes (I drew this when I was 8)


Exhibit B: The Resurrection (also drawn when I was 8)



If you look close you will see the graves of Mark Antony and Cleopatra that have not yet opened. I have also put a nurse in Hell. Even 8 year olds know that not all nurses are nice.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today is my mom's birthday. She is turning 25 today just like I will be turning 25 in May.

Don't you just love that picture? Not many people can pull of the whole purple and orange thing. Purple and orange aside, no way could I wear that short skirt. Though I got a lot of things from my mom, I got my dads legs.

My mom taught me a lot of things, my two favorite are

1. A little confidence never hurt anyone.
2. Sometimes it's okay to skip out on a church meeting for a doughnut.

Speaking of which, it's been a while since I had a doughnut.

Now, Remember, It's Diet

I finally found some Cherry Chocolate Diet Dr. Pepper. It received four thumbs up, but each thumb came with the qualifier, "it good, for a diet drink." If you are dying to have a cherry chocolate dr pepper and aren't a fan of diet drinks, then I suggest you go to sonic and have them mix one for you. Be forewarned, tell them to go easy on the chocolate.

Everybody Likes Babies

Friday night the husband, the baby and I went out to dinner.

We had a very long wait. During our wait . . .

We were approached by a woman, who was obviously not all there upstairs. She jumped in front of Michael and said, "HEY! You have a cute baby!" Michael was otherwise engaged and didn't respond . I said, "thanks" to her for him. "How old is he?" She asks. "Seven Months."

We learned about a girl who was so sick she had to drop out of school. Unfortunately none of the doctors believed her and they accused her of being a hypochondriac. However, she found that when she eats rice and beans, she feels better. I am now curious about the rice and beans diet. Perhaps it warrants some research.

We met a couple who also had four kids, and a girl who is going to BYU and wants to have four kids. Said couple told her it was better to have one and try it out first before settling on a number. She didn't think said couple was funny, but I did.

We were again approached by the "not all there" woman. She beelined for us as soon as she saw the car seat. "HEY! You have a cute baby! How old his he?" Again I told her he was seven months. "Have I already talked to you?" I told her she had. She turned and walked off. As she was walking off, the man (from the couple with four kids) said, "My wife is 39, and she's cute!"

Unfortunately, people don't really care about cute 39 year olds. But everybody likes babies.

Lets Hear It For the Girl!

AND THE AWARD GOES TO . . . .

Well, not her. She didn't even really study. Honestly, what do you people expect!

But she did get fourth. The first little girl got out when she spelled corn k - o - r - n. Corn with a K? You gotta feel sorry for her. Madison got out with the word discussion. She added a "t" to the "ion" for the "shun" sound.

I told her I was really impressed that she could get 4th place with one day of practice. She asked why. I said, "um, I don't know. You did so great today! Just think what you can do next year . . . you know . . . if you try."

Spelling Bee

**Telephone rings**

Hello.

Hi, Mrs. Malmgren, this is Madison’s teacher. As I am sure you know she placed in the class spelling bee today . . . .

The spelling bee?

Yes, she was in the top four so now she will be moving on to the grade spelling bee.

Wait, there was a spelling bee?

Yes . . . today. The grade spelling bee is tomorrow and I think she has a good chance of making it to the finals . . . .

So, there was a spelling bee . . . today? And she placed?

I take it you haven’t been practicing with her.

That would be correct.

Well they have had the words since December.

So if I were to practice with her tonight for the thing tomorrow, then she would have words for that, right?

Yes. She has those.

Okay great!

But I was calling because I wanted to know if you would come tomorrow, you know for moral support. But then she’s a pretty confident little girl she might not need you there like some of the other kids.

Apparently.

Snowday

We woke up to snow this morning. I first noticed it around 5am when I made a bottle for Davis. By 7:30 it was worse. Michael got in his car to find that it was no longer working. I don't really know much about cars so I'm just putting this out there, but perhaps the thing is cold. Our garage is still full of boxes that need to be unpacked. I know, it should be done by now, but I have been really busy taking care of kids and blogging. Anyway, I ended up taking Michael to work; he was ridiculously late. He has to conduct an interview at 5 today, so I suggested he ask the interviewee for a ride home. The funny things is, he thought I was joking.

After dropping Michael off at work I had to take Davis to the doctor for his check-up. We were late for that too, but they were understanding.

We are home now and I'm planning on staying here until it is time to pick the kids up from school. Besides, why would you want to go anywhere when you could stay home and smash Lucky Charms to bits with a sippy cup? Does life get more fun than that? I think not.

Beware Strange Neighbors

It wasn't long ago that I posted about how I don't like talking to people. I have been getting flack for it so I would like to elaborate. With me is really isn't an irrational fear, the fact is, I'm not good at talking to people. I usually end up sounding like a moron when I do.

During the Christmas break we got all sorts of goody plates from our new neighbors. We seem to have moved to a very friendly area and I have genuinely made a effort to be friendly myself. When one particular neighbor dropped off a selection of treats I asked her what size of shoe her granddaughter wore because Madison had an adorable pair of shoes that she had grown out of. She left and I went to go check the size on the shoes but found they were too small. Instead I grabbed a few other things Madison had grown out of to see if she would want any of them.

I worked the scenario out in my head before delivering the goods

1. She answers the door
2. I tell her the shoes are too small
3. I offer her the other clothes
4. She either accepts or rejects them
5. I go home

Feeling confident, I walked to her house, knocked on the door and, oh no . . . her husband answered. Crap. I was completely thrown for a loop. I had NO idea what to say. He didn't know about the shoes. How could I possibly start this conversation? Should I tell him his wife came over and I told her about the shoes? Does he even care about that? Oh crap, I needed to say something. Anything is better than standing on his front step freaking out.

I said nothing. Instead, I shoved the clothes in his general direction. He looked at me like I was a bit crazy but took the clothes. I think he mumbled some like, "uh . . . what?"

I brilliantly came up with "Madison grew out of those."

"uh okay"

"Well, maybe they'll fit your granddaughter?"

"Oh! Sure. Thanks."

"I'm sorry . . . I'm an idiot."

Yes. I'm AM an idiot. I actually apologized to him before leaving. THIS is why I do not like talking to people.

Cherry Chocolate Diet Dr Pepper

Why was I not informed of this?

I'm a little nervous about the whole thing actually. I'm dying to try it but not confident I'm going to like it.

I don't understand why they have to keep coming up with these odd combos, like the cherry vanilla, and didn't they have a berries and cream dr pepper? Why not just make cherry dr pepper, vanilla dr pepper, and lime dr pepper. Classic flavors that dr pepper fans are sure to love.

Sometimes less is more.

So So So Sad. . .

My husband surprised me today with a fantastic original painting. I love it. But I almost cried when I opened it and found it had taken a beating in the mail.


Close-up please


There were other dings and nicks and cracks, but this was the worst of it.

Don't you just love that painting? How sad is that?

Wicked Stiching

I think it was two years ago that Madison cut her big toe open on a carpet tack. Although it wasn't that horrible of a cut, it was in a bad place and kept reopening so she had to have three stitches. I was working at the time, so Michael had to take her and the two boys to the doctor by himself. I guess it's really hard to numb a toe and though they tried, it didn't work. It took several people to hold her down while they stitched. She was screaming so loud Kai was cowering in the corner with his hands over his ears. There was a little boy in the waiting room who also needed stitches, I imagine he was pretty freaked out by the time she was done. The doctor felt so bad that he carried Madison out to the car, apologizing the whole time. It was a very unpleasant experience for all involved.

Friday night I was working on the computer when I heard her screaming, "MY KNEE" over and over. She came running into the room. She had accidentally knelt down on a toy matchbox helicopter. She had a gash that was about an inch long and I was fairly certain she needed stitches. It was after hours, of course. My children wouldn't dream of injuring themselves during regular copay hours, it's not nearly as fun.

Needless to say, Madison did not want to have stitches again. As the nurse was applying a numbing cream to her cut I mentioned the toe incident and said she was scared shi . . . well, she was really scared (I had to edit myself I don't think nurses like it when you swear). She ended up getting the numbing cream and a couple of shots and didn't even cry once. Here she is $30 and 5 stitches later. Poor girl. Don't worry I told her to milk it.


My adorable, sweet, calm (ish), 7 year old has had stitches twice now and my adorable, but insane 5 year old hasn't had more than a really bad whack to the head. Okay, so he had 2 skull x-rays by the time he was 3, but both times he was totally fine! I am beginning to wonder if he really is a super hero.

Smiley Faces For Everyone

We went to Costco last night. As we were leaving the kids asked the woman checking the receipts to put a smiley face on their hands. This morning as I was getting the kids ready for school, I saw this




Apparently the boy thought it wasn't fair that the baby didn't get a smiley face and remedied the injustice. When I asked him about it he very soothingly said, "Don't worry mom! I used a washable marker." He's always so thoughtful.

Anakin Won't Eat His Squash

The baby has decided that he doesn't like butternut squash.

But he does like Cheerios and Veggie Puffs.

The Purse . . . or is it a Bag?

So here is the purse I made. It is even lined. I'm very excited about it. I am hoping to finish a really nice scarf soon and I will put them up on Etsy at the same time. Tell me what you think.

Yo Ho and a Bottle of Rum

I have been known to spout a few mild swear words now and then. I try not to swear around the kids, but sometimes I slip. Maddie said damn a few times, but never really picked it up. Not surprisingly the boy picked it up just fine. He knows he isn't supposed to say that word but likes to casually toss it around when he thinks I'm not listening. Last year when a car zoomed around me to jump in front of me in the school drop off line I said, "What the Hell was that!" and he responded with, "Ya, it's not like we're not going to the same damn place!" If he's going to swear as least he swears appropriately. Am I right?

I have been working on getting him to stop his occasional swearing, so now he says nonsense words. They are always a little different so I'm pretty sure he makes them up on the spot. Last night I woke up to hear him screaming, "Go away you crazy (insert string of made-up profanities here)!" Michael went down to check on him to find that he thought the skull and cross bones on the pirate flag that hangs above his bed (and has for almost 2 years) was moving and coming to get him. The boy came upstairs to sleep with us, but was still very freaked out. Michael suggested we take the flag down, but the boy wouldn't have that. He loves that flag, even it if is trying to kill him.

He may swear, but he's got that unconditional love thing down. Well, as long as your as cool as a pirate flag that is.

Best Present

I got a lot of really great presents for Christmas this year. In fact, I think I had more presents than the kids (obviously I was a very good girl last year).

My favorite present was from the boy. He wrapped a penny from his money box, wrote my name on it, and put it under the tree. When I opened it he said, "Mom, you can spend that on anything you want!" I think I am going to take the kids to Sonic tomorrow and blow my penny on some drinks after school. They deserve a treat.