30 June 2009

Okay So Maybe It Is Celiac

I just paid six dollars for a small nasty loaf of bread. The boy took one bite and said, "I think I'm done."

Remember those test results? The ones that came back saying the boy doesn't have celiac? Well apparently they still think he does and the person who called to tell me the test results didn't understand them. I won't get into that here because it would end up being a long frustrating rant.

Anyway, he has to have an endoscopy. He has an appointment with a GI at the end of August and they will schedule the endoscopy at that appointment. So it's looking like it will be a while. In the meantime they want him to switch to the gluten free diet. They may switch him back before the endoscopy but that's up to the GI.

So, FYI, don't buy the "New and Improved Corn Loaf." It needs more improving . . . .

26 June 2009

More Random Conversations With the Boy and the Girl

Boy: "Mom. What's this?"
Me: "Its a steam iron."
Boy: "I don't need one of those."
*brief pause*
Boy: "But my wife will."
Girl: "If you keep talking like that, you won't ever have a wife."

I'd Like To Clarify

Yesterday at a primary meeting with the stake we were all asked to tell our names and something interesting about ourselves. I said that I don't cook. Ever. When I told Michael he told me the "ever" part isn't really true. He's right, I did make bacon for lunch yesterday. I'm sorry if I mislead you.

24 June 2009

First Blood

Right now Madison is busy making a kill jar.

I had no idea how much thought went into making kill jars. They have to be small enough to carry around, but large enough to fit a nice sized bug.

Madison got her first taste of bug collecting at her science class this morning. They were each given their own nets and set loose to find bugs. She caught a bee and a water skeeter. Apparently she gets to bring them home tomorrow.

I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself. Just last week I said, "You know, this house could really use a box full of dead bugs."

Madison wanted to know if it would be bad for her to sit and sniff the fingernail polish remover in the kill jar. "Hmm. Lets think about this. The fingernail polish remover is what turns a regular old jar into a KILL jar. What do you think?"

23 June 2009

Perhaps We Should Just Invest In Some Bug Spray

"Mom, I'm wearing this to Madison's track meet because I don't want to get a mosquito bite. Only I'm afraid I might look a little ridiculous. Do you think I look a little ridiculous?"

19 June 2009

The Results Are In

Getting ready to start the 400 meter. Madison is in lane 8.

Yesterday Madison ran the 200 and 400. She came in 8th (last) in the 200 and 7th (second to last) in the 400.

I told her if she didn't win I'd break her fingers. Even better than breaking one is chopping one off so that's what we decided to do.

Though, it looks more like she pulling a gang sign than crying over a missing finger. Next time we'll have to pull out the fake blood.

18 June 2009


Do you remember when Madison placed third in the 200 and 400 meter? That particular meet was the local Hershey Track meet and the first and second place winners would advance to the district meet. As I mentioned Madison placed third. She ran her guts out and placed third. Even though Michael and I were insanely proud of her she was pretty disappointed because she wanted to advance. Last week I got a phone call and was informed that the second place winner wouldn't be able to go to the district meet and so they wanted Madison to go in her place. I was thrilled and thought Madison would be too-- she wasn't. Her response was something like, "Oh. Cool." When I asked if she wanted to call and tell her grandparents she said, "Um . . . I guess so." I know her, and I know she's not thrilled because she got third in the qualifying meet and so she thinks she won't win at district.

Tonight is the district meet. I told her that if she doesn't win I'll break her fingers, but I don't think she believed me. I also told her that she should be proud that she is at the district meet and if she tries her best then nothing else matters. Unfortunately I don't think she believed that either.

Cross your fingers for her. I'll post the results tomorrow.

15 June 2009

My Baby is Two

Davis Making A Dandelion Wish

Davis turns two today.

We had a much harder time picking a name for little Davis than we did with the other kids. I was pushing for James Marshall (after Jimi Hendrix) but Michael thought it was too boring. Michael wanted to name him Zentrig. I said no because it sounds like a brand name for a washing machine. He suggested Rennie, I said no because we were having a boy not a girl. So he suggested Edvin, I said no because we were having a boy not a vampire. Then he wanted Mats (pronouced Motts) or Viggo. That's right--applesauce and the villain from one of the worst movies ever made.

We still hadn't agreed on a name when I had him. Seeing as I was in a heavily drugged state when I turned to Michael and said, "Just name him whatever you want." I'm pretty lucky we don't have a little Viggo running around.

However, what we do have running around is one of the most independent children I know. Last week after he finished his bowl of corn starch laced applesauce he climbed out of his high chair, closed the Internet browser (he'd been watching cartoons), and put his bowl in the sink.

At night he likes to turn off his own light and tuck himself into bed. It won't be long before he's reading himself a story and running his own bath.

He is much older at two than the other kids were--which is a little maddening because as the last baby he was supposed to stay a baby longer.

Regardless he is growing up and there isn't much I can do about that. He is growing up into a little boy with his own thoughts and opinions. He is good as saying, "leave me alone mom!" or "Let go!" and hiding something behind his back to keep the other kids from taking it.

He is 2 going on 20 so when he occasionally stops for a hug or a kiss I take what I can get.

09 June 2009

Progress in the Kitchen

No. I did not learn to cook. What would make you think that?

While we're on the subject . . . . This weekend Michael's aunt asked me to chop an onion for her. As I chopped she and her husband asked me what kinds of thing cooked now that no longer work. "Oh. I don't cook. Its all peanut butter and jelly until Daddy comes home." They thought I was joking. Maybe I should learn to make something . . . .

Anyway, I am excited to tell you that the wainscoting it up in the kitchen! YEAH! It looks fabulous.

I am less excited to tell you that I tried to paint my desk but forgot to sand it first. I'll be redoing that this week and I need some advice. Bearing in mind that the desk is going to be black like the wainscoting--which drawer pulls do you prefer?

You should also know that if I use the dark leafy ones they will both be the same. If I use the hand painted ones there will be one of each.

Also, I decided I still don't like the yellow and bought a gallon of green paint to replace the yellow. What do you think?

In the picture you can see the yellow I painted before and the green I am changing it to. The darker blue strip is the painters tape so just ignore that.

I'd also like to take this opportunity to say that painting is a lot harder when you don't have a tall friend visiting. Seriously.

05 June 2009

More on the Feed

Okay. I've been having issues with my feed, but I think they are all fixed now.

Some of you got a post saying you might need to resubscribe, but you shouldn't have to anymore.

Yeah. Sorry about that.

If you're not subscribed and you want to you can use the subscribe button on the sidebar or you can find my feed at this url: http://feeds.feedburner.com/visualanarchy

What Kind of Name is Malmstrom Anyway?

I've been abusing the library's hold system for about two years. I will put a checked-out book on hold even when there is a perfectly good checked-in copy on the shelves. I have a very good reason though.

Lets say I want to read AntiCraft: Knitting, Beading and Stitching for the Slightly Sinister. Because, really, who wouldn't? Now lets say that my local library has acquired a couple copies of this book. One of these copies happens to be checked-in and the other happens to be checked-out. I have two options,

1-- I can drag 2 to 4 children (depending on the time of the year) to the knitting section of the library where they will fuss, pout, whine, and generally annoy while I look for this book. Of course the knitting section happens to be right next to the turn-off-your-cell-phone study area. So every quiet squeak and every not-so-quiet yell will be met by the glares and sighs of those who were fortunate enough to escape their children, or possibly chatty roommates, to study at the library.

or 2-- I can put a hold on the already checked-out copy of this book. When it is returned I will be notified by email and it will be placed on the holding shelves and labeled with the first four letters of my last name: MALM. The holding shelves are conveniently located next to the self check-out stations thus allowing me to quickly come in, pick up the requested books, check them out, and leave with out having to talk to anyone. I don't really like talking to strangers at the library.

Though perhaps an abuse of the system it is obviously the better choice.

Today I had 10 books that were ready to be picked up. I don't keep track of the titles, I just keep track of the number. It's faster that way. I look on the M shelf and grab every book that is labeled MALM. When I have the right number of books I know I've found them all and proceed to check out. Sometimes I don't even know what I've got until I get back in the car.

Today I proceeded to the holding shelves and picked up all the MALMs. I counted-- I had 10. On my way to check-out I noticed one of the books was Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. I thought that was a little weird because I own Pride and Prejudice. I decided to look at my books more closely. I checked the title against the list on my account. I realized not only did I have a book that I hadn't requested, I didn't have one of the books I had requested.

Obviously there had been a mistake. I found a librarian and explained the situation.

"Why do you think that Pride and Prejudice is a mistake? Maybe it's not for you." she asked.
"Uh . . . it has my name on it."
"What . . . you think you're the only MALM in the area?"
"Yes. Actually I do."

Apparently I am not.

A quick search of the phone book yielded no less than 4 Malmstroms and I'm pretty sure one of them was wandering around the library today with my copy of Danny the Champion of the World.

I'll tell you what Ms. Malmstrom . . . if you stop touching my books, I'll stop touching yours.

*I feel like I can safely say "Ms." at this point. It was Pride and Prejudice after all.


Me: "Kai, you've played with Noah all day. Its time to start your chores."
Chase: "I played with Noah too."
Me: "You're right. You should probably do some chores too."
Chase: "I don't have any chores."
Me: "Maybe it's time we got you some."
Chase as he disappears into Davis' room: "Uh . . . I'm going in here now."

04 June 2009

03 June 2009


Proof that the children eat when Michael is gone.

And they're ridiculously happy about it.

01 June 2009

Good News Minute

Kai doesn't have cystic fibrosis. Not that we were really concerned that he did, still it's good to know we were right.

And something even more astonishing--Kai is currently doing chores. Real chores. He just cleaned the bathroom (even the toilet) and now he is unloading the dishwasher. I know it's astounding. How did I get him to do this you might ask . . . money. I told the kids I would give them a penny for every chore they complete this summer. Yes, a penny.

In general I don't really think kids should get paid to do their chores, so when they complained I pointed out that it was more than I normally pay and they decided not to push it.