30 June 2008

I Donate Out of Love

When I got my hair cut yesterday my stylist kept saying things like, "I love the color of your hair, is it natural?" and "I can't believe how soft your hair is!" she even threw in a "You have four kids?! I swear you don't look at day over 20!" However, that last comment may have had something to do with the fact that I had my skull shirt on. Every other stylist that walked by said something to the effect of, "Oh wow! Now that is a great hair cut!"

Did it bother me that they were saying very similar things to the girl across from me? Absolutely not. They had no other choice. I'm sure they didn't want her to feel bad because my hair is so much better than hers.

I asked to have 12 inches taken off. My stylist put it into four braids before cutting it so it could be donated to Locks Of Love. Did she ask me? No. She just said, "Oh look, you have enough to donate!" So when one of the salon owners saw the four cut off braids and exclaimed, "oh are you donating to Locks of Love?!" I said, "No. I plan on taking those home." "Uh, really?" she said, "Like for your scrap book or something?" If you're wondering, I didn't really take them home because, honestly, how could I deny a cancer stricken little girl such fantastic hair?

Diaper Rash

Davis is going through a nasty bout of diaper rash. The following is what I have learned from this experience:

1. Squirmy babies that are difficult to change become impossible to change when they have a bad diaper rash.

2. Target's version of Desitin doesn't work as well as Desitin's version of Desitin.

3. Just because you emptied the Diaper Genie yesterday doesn't mean it isn't full again today.

4. Babies in pain don't sleep very well.

5. I'm ornery when I'm tired.

27 June 2008

Charity Only Goes So Far

My grandparents were convinced they were going to win millions of dollars from Publishers Clearinghouse. Once they left a note on their front door so the prize patrol would know where to find them.

When I was 17 my grandma said, "Elisabeth, when I win this money I'll sell you this car real cheap. It's like brand new--I've replaced every part it at least twice."

So I wasn't surprised today when I heard this . . .

Kai: Hey Madison are you going to have a pet when your an adult?

Madison: Probably.

Kai: Well, when I'm an adult I'm going to be a veterinarian, so you can bring your pet to my office and I'll take care of it for free!

Madison: Ahhh, thanks! When I'm and adult I'm going to be a writer. So if you are poor and can't afford to buy my stories, you can come talk to me and I'll sell them to you cheaper.

. . . it is in the genes after all.

26 June 2008

Fry Sauce Haters

My friend recently told me she understands why some animals eat their young. I think I'm beginning to get it myself.

Madison: Noah said he doesn't like fry sauce.

Me: Yep. James said that too.

Madison: James said that Noah doesn't like fry sauce?

Me: No, James said that James doesn't like fry sauce.

Madison: James said, "James doesn't like fry sauce?" That's weird.

Me: No, James said and I quote, "I don't like fry sauce."

Kai: James doesn't like fry sauce? Hey, did you know that Noah said he didn't like fry sauce?

24 June 2008

Fresh Produce

Michael and his father made an awesome planter so I could plant tomatoes this year. As I was planting tomato plants the girl and boy decided that they wanted to plant strawberries. We managed to acquire two strawberry plants that we put in a strawberry pot on our front porch.

We watered our strawberries this morning and were delighted to find that we had our first ripe strawberry! Unfortunately the girl and boy both want some of it and I'm not certain I can successfully cut it half . . . .

Sorry the picture is grainy. My camera doesn't like to take pictures of very small things.

23 June 2008

Sweet Moves

I wasn't going to write a post about my kids this time, but I don't get attacked by homeless men on the street like some people . . . . Basically my kids are more interesting than me. But then, I had kids because I needed more entertainment so today I am going to leave you with Chase's new dance moves. All he needs now are some sweet moon boots.

21 June 2008

The End of a Season

Today was the boy's last T-Ball game. He had a hard time hitting the ball because he's a lefty and they kept putting him on the wrong side of the tee. The coach was a sub and didn't know. I didn't do anything about it because he only bats twice and, well, it's T-Ball-- no one really cares.

He got a chance to play 3rd base for the first time this game.

He found it a little boring.

Okay. He found it a lot boring.

20 June 2008

Summertime and the Living is . . .

Summer is in full swing. Madison's math book came on Monday. When she heard the doorbell she started yelling, "My math book is here! My math book is here!" It was not unlike Steve Martin in The Jerk, "The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here!" I love that show.

This morning we went over lines, segments, and rays. So far I've done pretty well teaching her math but as we are only on the 24th lesson out of 120 or so, and we are approaching the extent of my geometry knowledge. Needless to say, I am nervous for the future.

I couldn't find the phone book clip from The Jerk, but this one is just as good. Enjoy!

18 June 2008

What's Cooking?

What's cooking? Oh . . . that's just the baby.

He likes to climb into the oven now. A few days ago I walked in to find him sitting on the oven door, trying to figure out how to get on the shelves. We'll be adding an oven latch the the shopping list.

16 June 2008

My Baby is One

Davis celebrated his first birthday on Father's day. I was trying to figure out how often this would happen, but then gave up because I hate math.

Anyway we celebrated this momentous occasion with white cake and strawberries. I think we should do this every time Davis has a birthday on Father's Day. How ever often that is.

15 June 2008

Happy Father's Day!

Thanks Dad! If it weren't for you, I'd have to use the dictionary a whole lot more. Happy Father's Day.

13 June 2008

Monte L. Bean and His Muesum

When I told the girl and boy we would be going to the Bean Museum I was immediately asked,

Girl: "Is there a gift shop?"

Boy: "Do they have a ball pit?"

I explained that the Bean Museum was much better than gift shops and ball pits, it was two floors of stuffed dead animals.

Boy: "So, how many of the dead animals used to eat beans?"

Girl: "Dead animals don't eat beans. They don't eat anything because they are dead."

Boy: "I know! I said, 'used' to eat beans. I know dead animals don't eat."

(this went on for a while)

While at the museum the kids decided this Baboon is evil.

This Sage Grouse is uh hmm *cough* immodest

And this goat is the Devil.

I blame that one on Guitar Hero.

However, my favorite part of the outing was when the boy tried to figure out which half of the Liger was Lion and which half was Tiger.

12 June 2008

American Girl Mania

Madison and I joined a mother daughter book club at her school. It's not just any book club though, its an American Girl book club. I didn't know this at the time or I would have tried to talk Madison out of it. It isn't' the $90 dollar doll I mind so much as the $135 bedroom set or $70 stove that go with the doll.

Our first meeting was a luncheon where they talked about the American Girl books and what we would be doing in the book club. Then we were all asked to read a Molly book for the next meeting. Madison read Molly Saves the Day and I read Changes for Molly. They were everything I had imagined.

Tuesday evening we attended book club to discuss Molly. Because Molly lived in 1944 we listened to a speaker tell us about her experiences during World War II. The speaker turned 10 two days after the bombing of Pearl Harbor. She talked about how she had four brothers who fought, one of whom died. She told us about rations, victory gardens, and all the many other ways life changed for her during that time.

After the speaker one of the coordinators stood up and told the girls they should go home and write down how their lives had changed while our country has been at war. She said that some day they would be able to stand and talk to a group of girls about all the ways their lives changed during war time, just like our speaker had. Madison turned to me horrified, "Our country is at war?!" I'm guessing that particular speaking engagement isn't a part of Madison's future.

Sinking to Their Level

I love our local library. How much do I love the local library? Right now I have 46 items checked out--46! Okay so thats nothing compared to the woman I saw unload a cooler filled with books into the return slots and then load it back up again before checking out. It kind of makes me wonder how many books you can fit into a cooler, but it mostly makes me wonder why a cooler?

Back to me. Right now I have 46 items checked out, three of which happen to be movies. Movies that are due soon. Movies we haven't watched because I couldn't find them. You have no idea how much stress this has been causing. I was fairly certain I was the last one to touch the movies, and I had NO idea what I had done with them. I lost the movies. I couldn't even blame it on the kids! I have been looking for these movies for days. I went through the toy room, the car, my bed room, the laundry room, I looked everywhere. This morning Michael suggested we look under the couch. As I was crawling around on the floor looking under chairs I saw this.

Do you see it? Do you see all the books, and incidentally 3 movies, that have been neatly stacked inside this toy? Here's the thing, you can only see it from the side. Even better is the fact that those books are packed in such a way that if you pick the toy up they come up with it, leaving you with the allusion that there is nothing under the toy. My children are evil geniuses, I tell you. Evil geniuses!

And I thought I couldn't blame the kids. HA! If I learned nothing else from this, I learned you can ALWAYS blame the kids.

11 June 2008

Two Left Feet

Does it make me a bad mom if I didn't notice I took my child the library wearing two left shoes? Does it make it worse if one of those shoes was too small and the other too big?

10 June 2008

The Good News Minute

Madison's math book shipped. It shipped yesterday and we've been tracking its progress all morning. It hasn't changed much. In fact it hasn't changed at all since last night. I think they should put little GPS transmitters in the UPS trucks that update the trucks where abouts on google maps.

In the mean time we were directed to this gem Summer Math Packets. Madison has been working on the "Long Division with Small Numbers" packet. So far so good.

Davis is learning to sign. He likes to use his own signs though. He consistently does this when told to sign for more . . .

He has also started walking. You might want to turn your monitor for this one . . . I keep forgetting that I can't turn the camera when I'm taking video with it.


07 June 2008

Growing Up Isn't Easy

Chase has started exerting more independence these days. Among other things, he has begun to dress himself. This has resulted in frequent public displays of backwards pants. I think Calvin would be pleased to be a part of Chase's statement of individuality.

He continues to be the master mess maker. Yesterday he found a box that must have been stashed under my bed when we moved. He dug it out and spread its contents across the room. He had a white residue all over his face and his breath smelled strongly of Licorice Altoids. I was not happy, do you know how hard it is to come by Licorice Altoids? I have to stock up when we go to Trader Joes in Vegas.

As we were cleaning up what was left of the Altoids I found some Extra Strength Tylenol among them. Damn. I held one up, "Chase did you eat these?" He shook his head, "uh huh." I held up an Altoid, "Chase did you eat these?" He shook his head, "uh huh." I held up the reading lamp, "Chase did you eat this?" He shook his head, "uh huh." I decided his testimony was unreliable and called poison control.

We ended up in the ER so they could test the Tylenol level in his blood. They also put an IV in his arm, that way they could give him the antidote quickly if the test results came back positive. Fortunately, they came back negative, apparently he stuck to the Altiods. My mom did manage to get a few pictures with the camera on my phone. Taking pictures other people wouldn't normally take is one of her trade marks.

04 June 2008

The Little Black Book

Kai: "Mom do you know any girls I could marry?"
Me: "What? Why?"
Kai: "I want to marry someone who's nice. Do you know any nice girls?"
Me: "Sure, I know some nice little girls, but don't you think 5 is a bit young to be thinking about marriage?"
Kai: "I'm just starting a list in my head. That way I have lots to choose from. "

The Cold Shower

Our hot water heater has stopped producing hot water. As a kid I went to Italy with my parents. We stayed in a beautiful villa. One of the days we were there it was 4 million degrees outside and I was marinating in my own sweat. That afternoon I took a cold shower and it was divine. This morning, not so much.

When we moved in last summer the inspector told us the hot water heater was on its way out. He suggested we buy a home warranty because it will cover the cost of the water heater when it goes. Fortunately we took his advice.

They guy won't come to check the water heater until Friday afternoon, so I see a lot of cold showers in our future. Oh and in the future of my in-laws who well be spending a few days with us this weekend. SURPRISE!

03 June 2008

Old Men

This morning was the boys first day of Creative Drama. In this three day course a small group of 4 and 5 year olds get their first taste of acting. In anticipation of his first day of class, he requested a red Mohawk with purple polka dots on the side. He was the only boy in the class today, so it was a good thing he put so much thought into his hair.

After Creative Drama we went to lunch, then picked the girl up from school, then went to Costco where strangers asked, more than once, "Are all those kids, YOURS?" When people are asking you that in Utah, you know you've got your hands full.

After Costco we went to the library, where two separate old men commented on the boy's hair. The first asked what he had done to his hair, to which the boy happily explained that we had spray painted it. "SPRAY PAINT" the old man was horrified. "Well, special spray paint for hair" I replied. He shook his head in disgust and walked off. The second old man said, "Wow. He must need attention." Perhaps he does, but then, so do old men that feel they need to make comments about other people's children at the library.

02 June 2008

And So It Goes

I remember flipping through the channels watching a chunk of one of those nanny shows. Of course the kids were horrible, but I wasn't surprised because THERE WERE KIDS EVERYWHERE! How could parents expect their kids to behave when they had so many! Michael asked me how many they had, so I counted them. "Oh . . .uh . . . four." I happened to be pregnant with Davis at the time. "I am in soooo much trouble."

Today I spent most of the morning trying to convince Chase that he does want to be potty trained. I'm horrible about potty training. I know if I were consistent it would be over and done with by now. It's easy to be consistent when you are at home, it's when you leave the house that problems arise. I'm not good at hauling four kids and a diaper bag to the bathroom for 20 minutes to have Chase decide he didn't really need to go after all. Instead I say, "um just try to hold it" knowing a 3-year-old actually can't hold it. So no, I'm not consistent.

This morning Madison asked if her math book had shipped yet. It hasn't, and she's freaking out. "Mom, if it doesn't get here by the end of the week, I'm in big trouble!" Uggg. Why did I ever go along with this crazy plan! But wait, Michael's mom used to teach fourth grade and she'll be out here this next week . . . I wonder how much math a very determined little girl can learn in a week. I expect you to come prepared Becky--there's a trip to sonic in it for you.

On the other hand, the boy has been home from school for almost 2 weeks now and I haven't wanted to kill him once. He even made his bed and put the silverware away today.

That must be why I'm still somewhat sane. I have four kids, but they have the courtesy to not freak out all at the same time.