Halloween Candy

When it comes to parenting, Halloween candy is indispensable. I took a lot of human growth and development classes at BYU and never once did they tell me about the candy tool. I have to admit, I feel a little cheated.

If I ever teach human growth and development again, I'm going to add the "candy" discussion in to the curriculum. It's something any good caregiver should know.

The first thing I do after the kids get home from trick or treating is confiscate all their candy.

After confiscating the candy, I pick out the really good stuff, like the Almond Joys and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and put that aside for myself.

Then, I take what is left and dump it into a large bowl. They can have a couple of pieces right away--they did collect it after all. But after that they have to work for it.

I think of it as a version of tip share. Being the boss I get the best tip, and then I decided how the rest is doled out.

For the next few weeks you can hear me saying, "If you eat breakfast, you can have a piece of candy. " and "If you get dressed for school you can have a piece of candy. " and maybe even, "If you clear off the kitchen counter you can have a piece of candy." "No candy until you do your homework," is common.

This morning my two year old wanted something, but I had no idea what he was saying. He was getting more and more frustrated until finally I said, "Really?" as if I really did understand what he was saying. Then before he could protest (because he isn't stupid and knew I didn't understand him) I asked, "Hey, do you want a piece of candy?" He looked at me for a second, and said, "uh huh." Situation defused!

Candy is a great bargaining chip. The police should think about using it. "Give me the gun, and I'll give you a piece of candy." Its uses could be stretched to foreign policy too, "If you stop manufacturing WMDs we'll give you candy." We could even trade candy for oil.

No need to thank me. Making the world a better place is its own reward.