29 November 2007

Funny Business

About two years ago I switched pediatricians. I had a pediatrician I loved but he went on hiatus and left me in the hands of several very incapable morons. Not wanting to risk the health of my children until his return, I decided to move on. Luckily, I found another pediatrician whom I love.

On our first visit I told him I switched because the incapable morons at the last office never listened to me. Looking back, I think that may have scared him a little. I think he was afraid of me. And I enjoyed occasionally tormenting him.

In May Madison went in for her 7yr check-up and he asked her if she uses a booster while in the car. She very unhappily reported that she did, but she didn't like it, because none of her friends sat in a booster. He pointed out that being very short and about 35 pounds she was going to be in a booster for a very long time. I said, "Don't worry, we know all about that. I mean, I just got out of mine!" He didn't laugh. He just gave me a weird look. I think he was trying to decide if it was true or not. For the record, it isn't true. I was never in a booster. Now, my drivers ed teacher made me bring pillows to sit on when I drove the car--but that's totally different.

I told Madison to suck it up. I mean look at that girl in the poster, obviously she LOVES her booster seat! Madison should be more like that.

After he fixed Chase dislocated elbow he asked me how it happened. I told him the whole story and told him how loud Chase was screaming. I have NEVER heard him scream like that before. Then I added, "and we were in the library!" He turned on his nice doctor voice (you know, the one people use when they are talking to really old people) and responded with, "Well . . . it really hurt." Apparently he hasn't been in the library with a child screaming like you just cut his finger off. And, It wasn't like we were in the kid section, where I am sure they are used to that sort of thing. We were in the "please turn your cellphone off section" where people don't look kindly upon screaming babies. If there had been blood and perhaps some exposed bone, they may have been sympathetic. Dislocated elbows just don't do it.

I thought he didn't have a sense of humor, and felt sorry for him. How do you survive without one? Then yesterday I took Kai in for a check-up. When I checked in, the receptionist gave me some papers to fill out. One was a sleep apnea screening, and the other was a questionnaire about his behavior. I didn't know how to fill out the questionnaire because he has times where he behaves like a totally different kid. I thought I could just fill out an average, but didn't think that would be really helpful. So I asked for two copies of the questionnaire. I filled out one for how he acts when he is my sweet little boy, and one for how he acts when he is . . . well, not my sweet little boy. I then labeled them appropriately. I was tempted to write "Angel" on the top of one and "Antichrist" on the top of the other, but figured after the library thing, I probably shouldn't push it.

When the doctor came in I gave him the clip board and he realized that I had filled out two copies of the same questionnaire. He started laughing, "You filled out two . . . ." Not just giggling, but really laughing. I looked at him like he was crazy, and said, "the receptionist said I could, I thought it would be helpful." He just kept laughing, "I've never had anyone do that before!" Ha Ha Ha.

It turns out he does have a sense of humor. Now I wish I had added "Angel" and "Antichrist" to my labels, because that would have been funny.

2 comments:

CarrieAnne said...

I'm so doing that when I go in next time.

Would it bug you if I wrote "Angel" and "Regan McNeill" or "Linda Blair" on the other one?

And I'm doing that at my husband's doctor's as well.

Sparklebot said...

I surpassed 4'9" when I was 3. Ok, maybe 4.