Yesterday around 10am I was told to take the baby in for some blood tests. I was also given a sterile cup and a tongue depressor and told to provide a sample of his stool. I know . . . lucky me.2pm-- Still no sample. I called the doctor and was told to get the blood tests done and take the sample in as soon as it arrived.
Off to the hospital we went. We proceeded to check in.
Office Worker [OW]: Do you have his stool sample with you?
Me: No. He hasn't provided me with anything I can sample yet. So I was told to just do the blood work for now.
OW: Hmm. Do you just want to wait a minute?
Me: I've been waiting since 10am.
OW: Right. Okay . . . just do the blood work and come back with the sample later.
I proceeded to the lab . . .
Lady with Russian Accent [LRA]: I need his stool sample.
Me: I don't have one yet.
LRA: Okay, but make sure you bring it to me tonight before 6:30.
Me: What if he doesn't go by then?
LRA: Then bring it tomorrow . . . but try to bring it tonight.
Me: Uh. Suuure . . . .
The lady with the Russian accent proceeds to draw my child's blood.
Fast forward to 7:30pm. After practically pouring juice down the baby's throat for the past 5 hours he provides a sample. There is a lot of gagging involved. The sterile cup is no longer sterile.
Me: I am sooo never doing that again.
Michael: Whatever! I put the dog down!
Me: Okay. Fine. We're even.
Michael: I don't think so.
First thing this morning I went back to the hospital to drop off the sample.
The SAME Lady with Russian Accent [LRA]: Can I help you?
Me: Yes, my son was here yesterday and had some blood drawn, but I was unable to provide his stool sample. So I am here with the sample.
LRA: Have you checked in?
Me: No . . . I can't just drop it off?
LRA: No. Go check in.
I check in, then back at the lab . . .
Again . . . The same Lady with Russian Accent [LRA] Seriously the same Lady: Can I help you?
Me: uh . . . well so . . . I have this sample . . . .
LRA: Have you checked in?
Me: Yes!
LRA: Did you need any blood taken with that?
Me: No . . . it's my son's and you took his blood yesterday.
LRA: Okay put it in that box. You can go now.
On my way home I stopped at Sonic. I really needed a drink.
8 comments:
Uh oh. I think "producing samples" somehow got jumbled up within the fine print of my Parenting Contract. Because, whoa, was your post a wake up call! ;)
I admire your patience. Oh, and your "patient" for being so cute and overall cooperative.
I really hope I never have to do that. Is Davis ok? I hope whatever you got at Sonic was EXTRA large because yes you did deserve that.
Oh, the charming moments of motherhood...Yesterday I was cleaning up puke. Most of it was on our brand new comforter.
"There is a lot of gagging involved. The sterile cup is no longer sterile."
I think you got the sample from the wrong end. The other way is a shorter trip and may have been easier.
I love the word "stool."
Me: I am sooo never doing that again.
Michael: Whatever! I put the dog down!
Me: Okay. Fine. We're even.
Michael: I don't think so.
Stay strong man - stay strong.
Thanks for sparing us the additional pictures with that update.
I want a picture of the LRA. Did she comment on your children's small bones and their need to eat red meat? Cause otherwise I'm not so sure she's Russian.
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