The Boy Who Cried Wolf

Just look at that sweet face. Upon looking at this picture you will say, "ahhhh . . ." that is unless you are a man who is not secure enough in his masculinity. If that is the case, then deep down you will want to, but you have repressed the feeling so long you no longer recognize it. Seriously though . . . let it out . . . you'll feel better if you do.

Yes, yes, he looks very sweet and he thinks he is hilarious. Off and on all afternoon he has been frantically calling for help because he is stuck only to laugh hysterically when I come to his rescue to find that he is indeed not stuck. As a result my response time increased with each call.

This last time I waited a while. When I went in I found he was really stuck this time. REALLY STUCK. Some how he managed to wedge himself between the headboard of my bed and the wall. I contemplated how to get him out (as well as how the devil he got there in the first place). I figured I would have to pull the bed out. Unfortunately the bed is rather heavy and my first attempt was pointless.

I thought about calling one of my newish (as in oh, 9 months or so?) neighbors to help me move the bed. I wondered if it would be considered child abuse to leave him there while I tidied up a bit before inviting a newish neighbor into my bedroom. Fortunately, this caused stress which resulted in my body producing natural endorphins which allowed me to move the bed on my own.

So that sweet lovable little boy is now free. I am sure you are all giddy with excitement.

Hoax Emails

This is currently floating around the inboxes and as far as hoax emails go, I find it particularly funny.

Hey it is tara and john the directors of MSN, sorry for the interruption but msn is closing down. this is because too many inconsiderate people are taking up all the name (eg making up lots of different accounts for just one person), we only have 578 names left. If you would like to close your account, DO NOT SEND THIS MESSAGE ON. If you would like to keep your account, then SEND THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE ON YOUR CONTACT LIST. This is no joke, we will be shutting down the servers. Send it on, thanks. WHO EVER DOES NOT SEND THIS MESSEAGE, YOUR ACCOUNT WILL BE CLOSED AND YOU WILL COST 10.00 A MONTH TO USE. SEND THIS TO EVERYONE ON YOUR CONTACT LIST. NOW YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. PLEASE DO NOT FORWARD THIS or REPLAY. COPY THE WHOLE EMAIL. GO BACK TO YOUR INBOX AND CLICK ON NEW. AND PASTE THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION. It's no joke if you don't believe me then go to the site (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/1189119.stm ) and see for yourself. Anyways once you've sent this message to at least 18 contacts, your msn dude will become blue. please copy and paste don't forward cos people smell!

The last two lines are great. I'm not sure that the officials at Microsoft would send an email that says, "your msn dude" and "people smell!" I suspect that was added on to the original hoax. Which is a great idea, in fact, I think I'm going to start doing that. Every time I get a hoax email, I'm going to add ridiculous lines to it and then pass it on. I wonder how long it will take before my new version of the hoax ends up at snopes.

Patrick Warburton

Today I thought I would post one of my favorite commercials.



You've gotta love Patrick Warburton!

Saint Lucia

Madison learned about Saint Lucia in school on Friday. They were told that on Saint Lucia's day in Sweden the girls dress in white, put candles in their hair, and hand out crackers.

Madison came home and decided to dress up like Saint Lucia. She didn't know how to put candles in her hair so she improvised by putting a pen in a hat. Then she began handing out bread.

I asked her what she was doing and she was completely flabbergasted to find out that I didn't know who Saint Lucia was. She thought this was definitive proof that she was smarter than I am.

She kept talking about it all the next day.

Madison: "If you are smarter than I am you can answer this question, what is 8,542 x 1,000"

Me: "8,542,000"

Madison: "Okay, but can you do this one? 329,876 x 3,564"

Me: "Can I have a piece of paper? I can do it if I have a piece of paper."

Madison: "No, you can't have a piece of paper."

Me: "Then I can't do it."

Madison: "So I'm smarter than you!"

Me: "Uh . . . can you do it?"

Madison: "No."

Me: "Could you do it if you had a piece of paper?"

Madison: "No."

Me: "Then you aren't smarter than me. I'm smarter than you."

Madison: "That isn't how the game works, so I'm smarter than you."

Apparently not knowing the random rules to her absurd game means she is smarter than me.

I can respect that.

I've Been Tagged

I have been tagged by my dear friend Ali. You can all go to her blog and complain because now you have to read a post all about ME!

4 Jobs I have had in my lifetime

My first real job was as a janitor at UVSC. It was the summer before my freshman year of college and I was trying to raise money to pay for my first semester of tuition.

My next job was in the computer lab in the humanities building at BYU. It was fun and where I met Michael. After I graduated from college I became a janitor at UVSC. I was excited that after 4 years at BYU was able to land the same job I landed as a high school drop out.

After being a stay a home mom for a few years I started working at Provo College. A few years after that I remembered that I didn’t like working and went back to being a stay at home mom.

4 Films I have watched over and over again

I watch Pride and Prejudice a lot. I love all versions except the Greta Garbo one. I know at least two people who will hate me for saying it, but that version is just okay.

Office Space is also a favorite, because “damn it feels good to be a gangster.” I even bought Michael his very own red Swingline stapler for his desk at work.

I love Cary Grant and Alfred Hitchcock. So I have watched North by North West, To Catch a Thief, and Notorious a few times. I also quite like Dial M for Murder even though it is lacking Cary Grant, as well as Rear Window, and Vertigo . . . you get the point.

I have unwillingly seen all of the Barbie movies more than once. Okay that isn’t actually true. Some of them I slept through, but I was present for all of them. Oohh the sacrifices we make for our children whose taste in movies is poor and sense of humor underdeveloped.

4 Shows I watch religiously

Assuming I could watch any show religiously with 4 children, one of my first favorites would be Pushing Daisies. I have caught an episode here and there, and I quite like it.

Heroes is another show I find thoroughly addicting. I haven’t been able to really watch it this season and that makes me sad.

My Name is Earl and Vegas are also in my top 4.

4 Places I have lived

I lived in Orem, then Provo, then Belgium, then Provo. I know, if it weren’t for that stint in Belgium I’d be pretty pathetic. As it is I'm pretty freaking awesome.

4 Of my favorite foods

I love potatoes. I love mashed potatoes, I love baked potatoes, and I love potato cakes.

I also like chocolate. I like good quality chocolate and the stuff most people who like good quality chocolate won’t eat. I’m not picky when it comes to chocolate.

I love Dr. Pepper. I drink it with lime, with cherry, or just plain. It's good stuff, and yes I consider it a food.

While in college my diet was centered around creamed corn and orange juice, but only because I was too lazy to make potatoes and too poor to buy chocolate and Dr. Pepper.

4 Favorite colors

I like brown, I like blue, I like orange, and I am trying to get myself to like pink.

4 Places I'd love to be right now

Right now, I’d like to be either in bed, or in a warm bath. Its winter and I’m cold. So if it is warm I’d like to be there.

4 Names I love but my husband would never let me use on my own kids

I liked Jane, Emma, James and Jake. They were all too plain for the husband. He wanted names like Zentrig, and Viggo (isn’t he in a Ghost Busters movie?) and Mats (pronounced motz . . . yes, my husband wanted to name a child after apple sauce).

ADHD

The boy was recently diagnosed with ADHD. It freaked me out a little because I always thought ADHD was just another name for bad parenting.

I was hesitant to put him on medication because I wanted him to learn to adapt. I started doing all sorts of activities to help deal with his energy and help him learn to focus. None of it really worked. After he had a couple of really bad days at school, I agreed to medication.

Yesterday we forgot to give him his medication. I realized this when I picked him up from school and his teacher informed me it was a less than wonderful day. Then when I put him in the car he jumped out and ran off down the sidewalk. I had to catch him and put him in three times. At that point it was too late in the day to give him the medication because it would have kept him up all night. But here is what is interesting and why I am writing this post:

This is the boy's homework on Wednesday (when he we was on medication)

This is the boy's homework on Thursday (when we forgot to give him medication)

Why I'm Going to Hell

I don’t really like people. Now before you get offended let me explain. I like my friends and I like my family, but I try to stay away from people I don’t know.

I went to discount store with a friend of mine today. Every time they brought out a cart full of new items, people attacked it. So much so, it was hard for the worker to put the things away. There were so many people I wouldn’t have gone near that cart for a solid gold bar they were selling for 50 cents. In fact, when I saw them coming with the cart I went to the other side of the store.

I only go down aisles with other people on them if I have to. I avoid areas with old people because they tend to want to chat.

Mike has to call when we order take-out because I don’t like talking to strangers on the phone. I do make the calls when they mess up on our health insurance, but it happens often enough it’s like we’re old friends. Same goes for poison control.

The problem is that my hatred for talking to strangers is slowly dragging me down to Hell. A few years ago there was a woman sitting in front of me whose earring was about to fall out. I didn’t tell her. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to her and passing a note seemed a little juvenile. She lost the earring and as I left I witnessed her crying because they were earrings her husband had given her. I still feel bad.

You'd think that would've taught me a lesson, but I’m a slow learner. The other day I was in the doctor’s office and the old man behind me dropped a paper. He was on the very edge of my peripheral vision, so I knew he had dropped the paper, but I just sat there. If I went to pick it up for him, he would want to talk to me. I just sat there. He struggled, and I sat there.

So its official, Satan has reserved a nice spot for me. I think he is setting up a little place for me right next to all the people who get angry when they have to wait in a line, because those people are really annoying.