Dear Laundry

Dear Laundry,

I am sorry that I called you "the never ending chore from Hell." That was rude, and I will try to be more sensitive in the future. I just have hard time understanding why it is that you always need to be done. Even the toilet usually manages to stay clean for a day or two. As soon as I have washed you, dried you, and put you away, I find you sprawled on the floors of the bedrooms, bathrooms, and sometimes even the kitchen. Please try to be a little better.

Thank You.

Beth

"Standing" Ovation Please!

Davis has started to pull up. He loves being under the table because that's where he finds colonies of abandoned cheerios and veggie puffs. Considering the gut he seems to have developed, he finds a lot of these abandoned treats.

Phases

All kids go through phases. Right now we are going through a poop phase. Not the "constant use of the word poop" phase, it's the much dreaded, "everything is covered in poop phase." I am currently washing an entire load of pooped on clothes. Frankly, I'm not happy about it.

Before I had kids I remember my sister-in-law telling me a story about how her then toddler smeared poop on her fridge. I was shocked. Four kids and a whole lot of poop later, it takes a lot more to shock me.

Another phase Madison and Kai are currently going through is the "why don't you marry it" phase. I have a brother who is still in this phase, and I thank him for introducing this phase to my children. I plan to limit their interactions with him in the future.

Yesterday Micheal made the kids sausage patties with breakfast. Madison loves sausage. Yesterday at breakfast she made the mistake of telling everyone she loves sausage. "Why don't you marry it! Brwaaahhh Haa Haa!"

Later that day Kai was invited to a birthday party. His friend's mom picked him up and drove him home. I know . . . super nice. On the way home Kai busts out with:

"Hey did you know that Madison is going to marry a sausage? Then she's going to KISS the sausage. Then when she's kissing the sausage, the sausage is going to EAT HER! But a woodsman will come and CUT THE SAUSAGE OPEN and let Madison out. Madison really loves sausage."

Perhaps we'll also lay off the fairy tales a little.

T-Ball

We signed Kai up for T-Ball so last Saturday we bought him his own bat and tee. Even though it was freezing outside he insisted on practicing. We signed Madison up for soccer. Expect a soccer blog before too long.

Long Day; Cute Kid

I have no real post for today. As the title indicates, it has been a long day. BUT I wanted to get this picture up. I actually DID finish that cardigan, which translates to: I did absolutely nothing last week but knit. I am pathetic and may need to start attending knitters anonymous. I did so little last week that I was busy trying to put my house back together today. It was sorely neglected. I will not be reporting on a goal from last week because I had no goal for last week. This is good because as I said before, I did NOTHING but knit last week.

Work Work Work

I am sitting at my computer. I am supposed to be working on websites right now. I haven't had any work for a while, but as the saying goes when it rains it pours. I have three websites I am supposed to be working on right now. Crazy? Yes. I put in a few hours this morning, and now I am taking a break. Unfortunately I am out of Dr. Pepper. I really need to get to the store, but it is snowing. Uggh.

Yesterday wasn't all work and no play. I volunteered most of the day at the kids school. I spent most of that time in my daughter's class room. They are working on a patriotic unit right now. They have to write a two page essay on patriotism and they are memorizing little blurbs about various people who attended the constitutional convention. During a brain storming session for the essay the teacher told the class that America is the richest country in the world. I cringed, but let it go. However, after school Madison said, "Mom! Did you know that America is the richest country in the world!" I could let it go no longer. I told her that wasn't exactly true.

She wanted to know what the richest country was. We looked it up and found it here. Not only are we not the richest, we're not even in the top five. We were beat out by Ireland. Yes, potato famine Ireland. Considering it is a per capita thing, it isn't too surprising to find Luxembourg at the top. There's what, two people living there? Two very rich people apparently. Then she asked my why her teacher told them that we were the richest country, and I said something that will surely come back to bite me. I told her American's are pompous and we like to think we are better than everyone else. The next patriotic brain storming session might not go over so well. I'm expecting a note.

While in the classroom I also overheard a very funny conversation. The students were all at PE and another teacher came in to talk to Madison's teacher. I was off in the other corner wrapping cardboard boxes with butcher paper (don't ask). The teacher was whispering, but the classroom isn't big and we were the only people in it so . . .

Anyway, the other teacher came into the room and said, "You know how we are reading Peter Pan? Well I am having all the kids draw a picture of a fairy. I told the boys they could draw a male fairy if they wanted, and one boy raised his hand and asked if he could draw his fairy with a Mohawk and facial hair! Can you believe that?"

This teacher was all shock and awe, when she said, "I told him 'NO your fairy can NOT have a Mohawk and facial hair!'"

THE NERVE! Can you imagine a 2nd grade boy who wants to draw his male fairy with a Mohawk and facial hair! I think they should send a note home to his parents.

I suppose it is a good thing I wasn't in that class because when I think of male fairy, I picture something more like this. Which I am pretty sure would have gotten me kicked out of school. But then he doesn't have a Mohawk or facial hair, so on second thought I'd probably be fine.

Dishes = Fun?

When I envision the disastrous mess my kids would make in the kitchen if I let them use this bubble scrubber, it makes me want to cry. I have to admit, they would have a good time, but I doubt any dishes would get done. However, if you want to clean bubble residue from every surface in your house for the sake of a good time, you can buy one here.

Bubble Scrubber

Why shouldn't washing the dishes be just as much fun as charades or a torrid game of Scrabble? Introducing Bubble Scrubber, the kitchen brush with a bubble wand cleverly hidden right inside the bristles. And, as everybody knows: bubble wand + dish soap + water = FUN! Hey, maybe you can even get the kids to do the dishes!

Available in assorted Pink and Green bristles. Please let us choose one for you.

It is done.

Last week I only had one goal. I was going to exercise 5 days. I exercised Monday and Tuesday, but then Tuesday night I was informed that I needed to bring valentines candy to the boys class Wednesday before school ended. This way it could be sorted by the room mother Wednesday night. Yes, a little more notice would have been wonderful. So instead of exercising, I spent Wednesday morning trying to find candy. It was harder than I expected because Target was sold out of ALL their candy. Seriously. ALL of it. Thursday I ended up shoveling snow off the porch, driveway and sidewalk. I counted it as exercising. Friday I woke up so sore from shoveling snow, I did absolutely nothing. So I only exercised three times, but hey, that is three more times than I normally exercise. We'll see what happens this week.

Good news though, I finished the scarf from last week. I even felted it. I didn't felt it a ton because I still wanted to be able to see the stitches. You can't tell in the picture, but I crocheted a gray border around the edges. I love how this scarf turned out. Hooray!

I'm not going to put it up on esty yet because I don't think people are buying scarves at the moment. However, I plan to keep making them and put them all up in September or October.

So what am I attempting to knit now? Why this ridiculously adorable pocketed Cardigen! And no, it won't be done by next week.

Orphans

The following conversation happened completely out of the blue while shopping at Target yesterday.

Madison: "Mom, you know what I think we should do? I think we should adopt an orphan. I think that would be really great."

Me: "Are you serious?"

Madison: "Ya. I think that is something we should do."

Me: "Well, um, we kind of already did that."

Madison: "Really?"

Me: "Yes. I know its hard to tell, and you may not remember, but Chase is adopted."

Madison: "Oh ya. Thats right."

So for all of you who may not know, or may have forgotten, our very cute Korean child we tote around is adopted. My husband and I don't have any Asian genes that managed to surface. I didn't have an affair with an Asian and there wasn't a strange baby mix up at the hospital.

Along with that I can safely say he didn't inherit his ability to sleep anywhere from me.

Caged

Due to the fact that Davis has no fear of falling down a flight of stairs, we have changed from a free range environment to a caged one.

Where's the Anonymity?

My dad sent me this picture from a Salt Lake Tribune article that you can see here.

The problem I see with this look is, when you're on the lam you've got a fairly unique description to aid the authorities in your capture. Not to mention the fact that the devil is pretty easy to pick out in a line up.

Breakfast

Maddie and Daddy are off running at the track this morning. That leaves me having breakfast with the boys. I told them if they waited I would make strawberries and biscuits when Maddie and Daddy got home. Nothing doing. The boy poured everyone a bowl of Marshmallow Mateys. He even rolled the baby up to the counter so he could eat with them.

Parent Extraordinaire

Madison is an awesome reader. Her teacher said she is one of the top readers in the class. Last summer she read 956 pages worth of books she checked out from the juvenile literature section of our library. Last year she won second place in a regional poetry contest. Not to mention her spelling bee stunt last month. Basically the girl rocks.

Her teacher requires her students to read at least 15 minutes Monday through Thursday. No big deal right? Yesterday I walked in while she was doing her 15 minutes of reading and found she was reading, "Moo Baa La La La". I took a look at her homework sheet for this week and saw that Monday she read, "Show Me," Tuesday she read, "Put Me in the Zoo" and Wednesday she read, "Theres a Wocket in my Pocket."

I was not happy. I gave her an appropriate book and made her read for an hour and redo the entire weeks worth of reading.

I have now earned the title, "Meanest Mom Ever!!" Don't get me wrong I had to work hard for that title. There was a math incident earlier in the day with Madison and a "I forgot to bring ANYTHING to school today, including coat and my valentines, you're lucky I'm actually wearing shoes" incident with the boy. And as that boy would say, "THAT is ALL I have to SAY about THAT! Thank you."

Monsters

I am afraid there might be something very scary behind that curtain.

Yes. Very scary. Just as I suspected.

Girly Boy?

Yesterday the baby was mistaken for a girl several times, despite the fact that he was wearing a yellow romper with a blue sweater. It wasn't just the random mistake either. He was called a girl by acquaintances and strangers.

He must have one of those faces. Kai was mistaken for a girl for a long time. In fact he was still being called a girl when he was old enough to reply with, "I'm A BOY!"

You're Wierd

The pick up area at the kids school is divided into zones. My kids are in zone 5. I often find myself in zone 5 waiting for my kids to come out of school. Zone 5 is the home to a boy, whom I call Mr. Show-Tunes, who on multiple occasions has come dancing up to the zone singing upbeat tunes. One time Mr Show-Tunes was singing "Bop to the Top" from High School Musical. His choice of songs are often odd, and he is very animated when he sings them. I felt sorry for him. If he had been in my elementary school he would have been made fun of . . . a lot. I often wonder if Mr. Show-Tunes has any friends.

There is another boy who walks through zone 5 on his way home, I call this boy, Mr. Oddly-Sweet. Mr. Oddly-Sweet likes to pat the heads of the little kids as he passes. Once when Kai was crying (because I said his friend couldn't come over after school) Mr. Oddly-Sweet stopped patted the boy on the head and asked what was wrong. I politely told him I had it under control, thank you.

Yesterday Mr. Show-Tunes was singing as Mr. Oddly-Sweet began to pass zone 5. Mr. Oddly-Sweet looked at Mr. Show-Tunes, pointed to a tree house in the distance and said, "Do you see that tree house? It's my tree house." To which Mr. Show-Tunes replied, "uh ya, you're weird." Apparently Mr. Show-Tunes doesn't realize that he is a bit weird himself.

I am surprised that the two aren't friends. I think they would make a very dynamic duo.

Stuck Part Deux

This afternoon, I heard a familiar call.

"Mommy! I stuck!"

Upon investigating I found this.


This time I went ahead a took a picture. I may leave him there.

Bags, Scarves, and a Pizza

My goals last week didn't turn out as well as I would have liked. I was going to make a very cute bag and finish the scarf I have been working on FOREVER! I didn't accomplish either. In all fairness I made the bag twice, I just couldn't get the handles down. If I make it again, I think I can get it. I am sick of the bag, but need to try again, just to have it done.

Along the same vein, I am on the third remake of this scarf, and that isn't counting the fact that I had to take half of it apart yesterday because I realized I messed up on the pattern a while ago. I am glad to report it is all fixed, the pattern is currently correct, and if Chase keeps his little hands off my row counter I should be able to keep it up. Wish me luck-- I think I'll need it.

I did make dinner last week. I bought a tomato, basil and fresh mozzarella pizza at Costco. I realize this is cheating a little but dinner was made when Michael got home so I'm counting it.

Things I learned:

1. Some patterns stink.
2. I'm not an expert knitter and could use more practice.
3. Costco makes a fine take and bake pizza.

WARNING!

Against my better judgment, potty training has begun. So if you are planning a visit to my home any time soon-- or not so soon, as it took the boy TWO YEARS-- expect to see a scantily clad almost 3 year old.

Because of HIM!

I am going on a date tonight, so this morning I decided to break from the norm and shower before the kids get home from school. That way I'd have more time to do my hair. I might even put on a little make-up, but I make no promises.

I put Davis in his crib and gave him a few toys. I explained to him that he wasn't going to be happy. I knew he wasn't tired, but I felt like he needed to be contained. I just don't trust him to roam the house yet. Trust is earned, and until he stops shoving pony beads in his mouth, he won't earn my trust. He did what any seven-month-old would do; he cried.

I set Chase on my bed and turned on his favorite show, "Super Why". I then proceeded to shower. As soon as I rinsed the conditioner from my hair Chase came bursting into my bathroom screaming like a banshee. I have only heard this scream once before. It when he dislocated his elbow at the library (in the "please turn your cell phones off" section no less). There was obviously something very wrong.

Now you have to understand there are two things that Chase really doesn't do, he doesn't talk, and he doesn't sleep. Yes, yes, none of my children really sleep, but he is the worst. He often stays up late with his dad watching James Bond and other movies the therapist would say two-year-olds should probably not watch.

So here is my child screaming his heart out. Very concerned, I jumped out of the shower and asked him what's wrong. He managed to sputter, "I'm scared!" It was really very cute. I didn't know he knew the word "scared", thus providing a little more evidence toward my "he can talk, just chooses not to" theory. "Scared? You're scared? Why are you scared?" I asked. He pointed out the bathroom door and sobbed, "because of HIM!" I would have been as impressed with him knowing the word "because" as I was when he knew the word "scared" except for the fact I was now scared. There should not been a HIM in my house! And frankly the last thing I wanted to do was confront a HIM in my towel. I never did get to borrow that little green gun and felt very unprepared to deal with intruders.

Slowly I peeked out of the bathroom door to see. . . nothing. Hmm, confused I ask Chase to show me again what he was scared of. He pointed to the TV and said, "Giant." Another new word, it was a bumper morning. "Super Why" (now his least favorite show) was telling the story of Jack and the Bean Stalk. Apparently Dr. No, Goldfinger, and Blofeld don't hold a candle to Jack's giant.

Farm Animal What?

I didn't even know Target sold rump roasts. Go figure.

When You Want More Than You Can Hold

That 8 oz bottle is just too heavy for two little hands to hold alone.

That Boy

What has the boy been up to? So much. In fact I contemplated keeping him home from school today just so I could observe him.

Hmm, school . . . he would be gone about 6 hours . . . not only would he be gone but they would attempt to teach him something. Oh . . . he's totally going to school, however entertaining he may be.

This weekend he started a store. Well not so much a store but, as he titled it, "A Place Where You Can Borrow Guns."

He isn't prepared to sell any of his weapons, but is happy to let you borrow them. Keep in mind he does require a deposit, but it will be refunded in full once the item has been returned. I found this out when I tried to borrow a lovely green little number, but sadly I left my wallet upstairs.

How do you keep a child like this busy at a restaurant? Let him borrow the digital camera (I am full of helpful parenting tips). Just watch the fingers. His pictures kept getting blurrier because he kept touching the lens.

When we recently went to a restaurant with family I let the boy take over picture taking duties. I won't be posting all of them, he took over 100. But I will be posting some of my favorite.

First we have Auntie Carol's wheel chair wheels. All four of them.

Next we have various food pictures.

Of course he took pictures of people. First we have Davis looking at a chip cross eyed. Then Crystal, then uncle Paul, and the very polite and very patient waiter.

How else could I end but with (my personal favorite) a self portrait of the artist.

Man that kids got big eyes!

Eating Out and Aprons

I had two goals last week. I know, I know, TWO goals! What can I say, I'm incredible.

The first was to go out to eat more than I should. Having my sister-in-law come to visit provided plenty of opportunities for that.

The second was to make an apron. I made three. This is the only one I have a picture of, but I quite like it and am going to be listing it on etsy today.


Thing I learned:

1. Sewing machines (even industrial ones) don't enjoy sewing through 9 layers of folded over canvas. But they will if you talk to them very nicely and promise them chocolate.
2. A good pattern can be your best friend.
3. I really do like eating out.